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The B'Stard is back!

Rik Mayall caused a stir when he appeared at MK theatre last year - and now the B'Stard is back! Sammy Jones caught up with the star of The New Statesman...

We only have a few

snatched minutes

together, but our

relationship

blossoms with

haste – he calls me a name most

beautiful (though best not

repeated here and now) and I call

him a B'Stard in return.

For this is no ordinary interview

and any journalist who picks up

the phone expecting the comedy

genius that is Rik Mayall to trot

out tiresome tatty theatrical lines

will return to their keypad

disappointed. He is on the phone

doing the not very-necessary

(given that ticket sales are little

short of awesome) but token ring

round of the press in advance of

The New Statesman which takes

its final live turn at MK Theatre

from July 9.

"I'm pleased with the show,"

he begins, putting more emphasis

into those opening five words

than many an actor does his

entire career.

"I'm looking forward to coming

back," he says of his imminent

arrival in our new city. "I'm

looking forward to it – it has been

going really well so far. You know

they call Glasgow the comedians'

graveyard because if the audience

don't like something, they let you

know? Well if they like it they let

you know too, and we ripped the

face off Edinburgh and

disembowled Glasgow!"

The New Statesman, the Blair

B'Stard Project again comes from

the exceptional writing force that

is Marks and Gran (Shine On

Harvey Moon, Birds of a Feather,

Goodnight Sweetheart) pitting the

best writers with the best

performers – after all, you don't

need to colour up Mayall's career

to come up with the goods:

Bottom, Blackadder and The

Young Ones being three particular

peaches.

But we shouldn't only give

Mayall and his on-stage wifey

Lysette Anthony praise. "Helen

Baker plays Flora Herbert and she

is brilliant, her comedy timing is

sublime, put that in...and we've

got the best terrorist in the world,

Kamal Hussein. It was his

birthday yesterday which is why I

feel a bit rough today.

"What I want to say," he

considers at fast pace, returning

to roost at the work, "is that this

is not a tired rehash of an old telly

programme."

'I know as much', I say.

"Oh sorry, you're in charge...I'll

do anything you want," the comic

creator sneers (that infamous,

funny) back. But I'm not reaching

for my whip (that is reserved for

full-time politicans who don't

mind spending a pretty penny)

and get back on track, to the very

essence of his craft: That

wickedly wonderful sense of

humour of his.

"Comedy is the salvation of

misery," speaks the man who

knows. "It's practically sexual,

and I mean that. When you've got

several hundred people that you

are able to move into any..."

'Shape?' I volunteer.

"Yes, if you like. That's the

pleasure. I could also say that I'm

******* good at it, but I'm too

much of a gentleman of course."

So Mayall is taking to the stage

in the role that he made a small

screen success...and this won't be

a staid production – not with the

writers on tap to weave in fresh

political elements as and when

they happen. the Government's

brigade is being watched...

"Last year, the main body of

the show was the West's conflict

with the East, but for example we

did have a lot of very good World

Cup jokes, but that's finished

now..." The World Cup...have we

missed something?

When the curtain goes down

on The New Statesman , that'll be

it, game over so far as Alan

B'Stard goes.

"If people really want to see

the show they have to go to MK

Theatre, because it won't be

coming out again, and there won't

be a DVD, nothing, that's it."

Finish it while it's good then?

"That's always been my

principle."

With the depraved, selfish

politician no longer to wander the

corridors of power, Mayall will

have some free time on his hands

should he choose, though he does

mention a film project as a

possibility.

Wherever Rik turns up, and

doing whatever, you can rest easy

in the knowledge that it'll be fully

plump and fantastic.

"I worked it out the other day,

I've been 31 years in the job now,

I'm quite an old dog."

But still one that'd make a

beeline for the nearest lamp-post

and steal your string of

sausages...

Name: Alan B'Stard.

Address: 9 Downing Street.

Who he is: 'One of the shining stars of the New Labour cabinet.'

What is he? In short, selfish and depraved sums it all up.

Is a peerage in the offing? "I've already bought several for an awful

lot of money!"

And another thing: Why is Condoleeza Rice in and out of Alan's back

door?

The B'Stard is back!

Rik Mayall caused a stir when he appeared at

MK theatre last year - and now the B'Stard is

back! Sammy Jones caught up with the star of

The New Statesman.....


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