'I will make sure my son did not die in vain,' says brave mum of Haydon Croucher

Brave Tracey Furness is reaching out to anybody contemplating suicidal and begging them to seek help.

Her message is STOP – S for suicide, T for Take a moment, O for Open up and P for Plan.

She said: “These thoughts may pass in just a moment, Reach out to your support networks, a friend or emergency contact numbers. Have a safety plan in place - who, where, what matters. Think about those you love and plan where it might be safe for you to be. Look at the things in your life that feel safe, comforting.”.

Tracey added: “There is help out there. I know you are you are not happy with your life right now. But right now is not forever.”

Haydon, who was 24, had become increasingly depressed and tortured by the disappearance of his younger sister Leah in February and his mum was “knocking on doors” to get him help from city mental health services.

He was discharged from a treatment facility on November 13. The following day Tracey and Haydon's older sister Jade rushed to his Bletchley flat after becoming concerned about his welfare.

They found he had attempted suicide and Tracey made desperate attempts to revive him and give CPR.

Haydon was put on a life support machine, but tragically the damage to his organs was too great to survive. He died in hospital on November 16, surrounded by his family.

Tracey said: “I have so many questions going around my head. Why? What could I have done? Was it something I said, didn’t say? Did you know I loved you enough?. Did you feel pain,? Was it the end you really wanted? Could I have saved you? Did I perform CPR right? Should I have seen this coming, what did I miss? Why wasn’t I enough?

“These questions I will maybe never know the answers too. Suicide may be a way for your pain to end, son, but for me, I will be forever broken. I am hurting so much right now.”

After Haydon's death, the family threw themselves into fundraising for Papyrus, the charity dedicated to helping suicidal young people. They launched a JustGiving page in Haydon's memory and asked for donations instead of flowers at the funeral. So far they have raised thousands. You can donate here.

This week, after Haydon's funeral, Tracey said: "I am mindful of a huge sense of love, community support and some brilliant people. Thank you.”

She added: “As Haydon's mother, and as promised to Haydon, I will make sure his life is not lost in vain. I will raise my concerns with regards to the support that he should have continued to receive from mental health services. I will be your voice of change.”

She is urging anybody thinking about suicide to call Samaritans on 116 123 or the Hopeline UK run by Papyrus on 0800 068 4141.

Meanwhile Leah Croucher is still missing almost 10 months after she vanished on her way to work in Milton Keynes. Anyone with any information at all should contact police on 101 or Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111.