Newport is a funny old place – just ask this lot

The Cannon in Newport Pagnell is your port of call, and Zoe Lyons is the lass taking to the stage with her show Pop Up Comic.

Hers is a performance that pulls together the silly, physical and the satirical, and she will ask important questions, like ‘Why are there so many one-footed pigeons and motion sensitive air fresheners in the world?’

Zoe will also share her cringe-inducing memories of being the thickest contestant on University Challenge, and being upstaged by a disabled dog on daytime TV!

If her face looks familiar, you probably tune in to Mock the Week, or The Wright Stuff - she regularly sits on the panel of both shows.

Sunday’s gig is the penultimate date of the tour, so let’s make sure she remembers Paggers for all the right reasons!

Newport Pagnell might just be

the funniest place for miles on Sunday night – there is more comedy for the taking over at The Watershed, a skip and a hop away from The Cannon in Tickford Arcade.

Cornish lass (not pasty), Harriet Dyer is headlining the show, with a rather tasty sounding support: Olaf Falafel.

Musical comedian Phil Alexander has also signed up, along with the split personality of Fred Ferenzi and The Rev Henry King.

MC will be Jimmy James Jones.

A packed billing, deserving of a packed house to play to.

Doors open at 7.30pm and entry is free before 8pm.

>If music floats your boat, go sample the blues, jazz and swing on offer at York House Centre in Stony Stratford on Friday night.

The third so-called York House in Session will put Dirty Bizness to the stage, bringing forth their repertoires of Bessie Smith and Billie Holiday, and not forgetting Ella, Nina and Sinatra through to the current class of Madeleine Peyroux and Katie Melua.

Jazz vocals and guitar wizardry will spill courtesy of Sharon and Richard, and we are reliably informed that The Bearcat’s fella Greg Vigars willbring jolly Yancey-style boogie and barrelhouse to the musical party.

Naturally, the bar will be serving up a scrumpy-tious array of cider and real ale helpnig to lubricate proceedings.

Tickets are £3 each and you can get them direct from the venue or by popping into the Well Past It store in Timor Court.

Can’t get over there?

Email [email protected] instead.

The night of classic, classy music will run between 8 and 11pm.

> Poet Laureate Mark Niel will celebrate today’s World Poetry Day by taking in a ‘World Tour of Milton Keynes’, visiting all nine libraries in the area.

He will use the opportunity to launch his first ever collection of work, Somewhere South of Normal.