A primary school teacher who once caused Jesus to be born as a twin has immortalised decades of classroom memories in print before she retires.
Terry Morley’s book Miss Adventures describes her many hilarious moments in the hands of young pupils at Old Stratford school.
She tells in the chapter Miss Directed how she feared her whole class would be arrested during a trip to North Wales when the coach parked illegally and the children filled their pockets with rare rocks.
But she averted the wrath of the patrolling coastguard by telling him her charges were starved of nature because they only had concrete cows in their fields at home!
The Miss Guided chapter describes how Terry held a night-time stake-out to catch some vandals - only to end up cowering under the desk when she heard burglars.
“It turned out to be the night watchman, but I was so embarrassed I kept hiding anyway,” she confessed.
In Miss Laid 58-year-old Terry reveals a biblical blunder in the school nativity.
“A little girl was cast as Mary and wore a blue dress with a doll shoved up inside it. But just before the birth she went to the loos and accidently left Jesus behind.”
Quick-thinking Terry rushed to grab a substitute doll – just as another teacher did the same.
“We both slid dolls across the stage. Undaunted, the little girl picked them up, laid them top to toe in the manger and the whole school celebrated the twin birth!”
The book,available from Amazon and Waterstones, will be her gift to the school when she retires in April.