Seagulls are the squawk of the town in Bletchley - because they keep pooping on people!

Monster seagulls are causing mayhem in Milton Keynes - even though it's the furthest point in England away from the sea.

Hundreds of gulls have taken up permanent residence on a Bletchley industrial estate, where they are the sqwauk of the town for leaving king-size deposits on businesses, cars and even people’s heads.

People laugh when I complain about seagulls, but it’s not funny. They are making my life a misery,” said Tony Zompi, who runs AZ Car Sales

in Dawson road, Mount Farm.

“As fast as I clean the cars ready to sell they get covered in poo. It’s not little splashes either - it’s great dollops of the stuff. And because it’s acidic, it eats away the paintwork.”

Tony and fellow business-owners in Dawson Road have spent two years complaining about the gulls, which they say are a health hazard because their faeces can carry salmonella.

“I’ve called the council numerous times and I’ve even called the national environment agency. But nobody takes it seriously,” said Tony. “I even bought a giant plastic owl to scare them away, but they just pooped on it. Then they pooped on a visitor’s head. It’s disgusting.”

The photo of him with the owl shows a seagull poised on a nearby street light, waiting to strike!

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Gulls are natural scavengers, so Tony believes the flock flourishes at the inland location because of Newton Longville landfill site.

“It’s a stone’s throw away as the crow - or should I say the seagull - flies,” he said.

A spokesman for MK Council’s environmental health department told the Citizen they would take a look at the situation in Dawson Road.

But because seagulls are classed as wild birds, officials have limited powers to control them.

Meanwhile the owners of businesses where the gulls are nesting are considering using humane culling methods: “ It would be done after they’ve finished rearing their young of course,” said Tony Zompi.