A headteacher has delivered a stern but hilarious rap on the knuckles to parents for their bad behaviour when parking outside the school in the rain today.
Allison Collis from Bletchley's Rickley Park Primary School wrote to all parents stating: "Due to the apparent misconception that children dissolve in rain, the car park was not a nice place to be again today as there was clearly a competition in progress of who could park the closest to the school gate."
She added: "Being the highest paid parking attendant in the country, I made the decision at 2.55pm to close the car park."
But Mrs Collis said the closure met with abuse from some parents.
"Sadly it did not come in time to prevent those who feel that car park rules and etiquette do not apply to them, to
double park, block people in, sit in the drop off zone and ignore or be rude to staff etc."
She has now given the parking parents some no nonsense choices for the future. The first solution she offers is that parents learn to behave and use the car park properly and respectfully.
The next idea is allocating permits for cars to use the car park and only opening the gate to those with
"This would require time on our behalf and effort on your behalf to apply for and collect your permit," she said.
Other suggestions are employing a parking attendant for an hour and a half a day - costing £1500 a year that "could be spent on learning resources" - or taking staff away from "vital teaching, learning and safeguarding roles" to control the car park from 2.15pm each day.
Alternatively, she says, the school car park could be closed completely.
"Wouldn't it be amazing if all parents could achieve solution 1?" she said.
The letter concludes: "We will give it one more day now that I have shared with you all the revelation that a bit of rain is not going to harm your children (unless they suffer from the rare condition of Aquagenic Pruritus). Should the same issues occur tomorrow, I will be looking at one of the other options, as my team and I have better things to do than take verbal abuse and stand at the gates in the cold."
This is the third letter in a week Mrs Collis has had to write to parents about parking.