"It is still sinking in": Milton Keynes man wins national award for work as unpaid carer
A Milton Keynes man says a national award he has received for his work as an unpaid carer to his autistic son is still sinking in.
Paul Ridley won the Unpaid Carer of the Year award as this year’s All 4 Inclusion Awards, which were held at the National Football Museum in Manchester.
"At the moment I am still getting used to the idea that I have won," Paul told the Citizen.
"Usually I say no when I have been nominated but after advice from Paula McGowan OBE {an activist who campaigns for equality of health and social care for autistic people} I decided to accept nominations and awards if I was lucky to receive either.
"I was surprised to win and speechless, I think reality finally sank in when I received the award through the post.
"It is amazing after all these years of caring that I've been recognised nationally as an unpaid carer.
"I'm still getting used to it but I also see it as a key that can open doors to people and places that might help make a difference to not only unpaid carers and disabled people but the professionals as well.
"It's an honour and a privilege to have won this and I hope I can continue to do the award and everyone that voted for me proud."
Paul and his wife Sarah care for Paul’s son Keith, 37, who was diagnosed with autism aged 16, and has complex needs including learning difficulties, irritable bowel syndrome and epilepsy.
Keith requires two to one care and needs continuous help, as he struggles with sleep problems.
"Keith lives at home with us and goes to day care during the week which is a must for him as routine is seriously important to him," Paul said.
"I also care for my daughter who is 34 and was diagnosed with Aspergers at 21.
"Keith takes up most of me and my wife's time, and I gave up working to care for him full time."
Before the COVID pandemic, Keith spent five days per week in day care, and one day a week in respite care.
After lockdown, which proved a particular challenge for the family, Keith returned to care services, however in 2022, Milton Keynes City Council gave just two weeks’ notice that they were going to stop the services they provided Keith.
"We never got given a reason in writing at the time and were told by the local authority that they could not meet my sons needs as they were too complex to be handled by their trained staff," Paul said.
"We got an apology after we won a case at the Local Government Ombudsman, although Keith was without support services from April until September.
"During that time I went from a size 32 waist to a 26, I became anaemic, had high blood pressure and developed diabetes type 2.
"I found myself sitting in my daughters’ wardrobe just to get five minutes break and sleep was very little.
"The times he was off was mental torture and affected my health physically and mentally.
"I would not wish that experience on my worst enemy and if I can use my lived experience to help change things for the better and if this award can help me do that by opening doors then that would be perfect."
In recognition of his award Paul received messages from Milton Keynes MPs Chris Curtis and Emily Darlington.
He also received a round of applause at a meeting of Milton Keynes City Council’s housing and adult health scrutiny committee, which he attended as a member of the public.
Paul added that the award was not just about him, and said he hoped it could provide inspiration to other unpaid carers.
"I am just a regular guy and carer going from day to day," he said.
"This award represents all unpaid carers out there and I hope it gives them the strength and power to carry on.
"I will try and use this to help improve things for the better.
"We have had tough times and we have always had to fight for services and I have found that the fighting is the hardest and more stressful than the caring.
"I have done campaigning around my caring duties and have now built up a good relationship with the NHS, council, and many charities and I will do my best to champion and be an advocate for those that haven't got a voice."